Unresolved grief can make it challenging to return to work fully.
If you have not had the tools and opportunity to process these emotions you may experience mental, emotional, and even physical challenges until you are able to do so.
Unresolved grief is almost always about things you wish you had said or done differently, better, or more. (For example, “I wish I had told Dad that I loved him before it was too late.”)
It’s also about hopes, dreams, and expectations you had for the relationship. You may be left feeling lost about so many plans that never happened and there is no future in which they will happen. In negative relationships, a death or divorce robs you of the possibility of repair or forgiveness.
Any undelivered communication of an emotional nature may be a part of your unresolved grief and here are some signs that may be indicative of the need to process these emotions:
1) Difficulty Concentrating or Making Decisions – Productivity drops, deadlines are missed, or you struggle to focus on tasks.
a) Mental fatigue increases if you do not attend to your emotions! One common mistake that successful busy people make is trying to use their intellect to solve an emotional issue
b) Maintaining a context of your grief being something that needs “fixed.” You are not broken, and your grief does not need to be fixed.
What does need to happen is to find and use the tools that help you process your emotions.
2) Avoidance of Certain Topics or People – You steer clear of conversations related to personal loss or withdraw from team interactions.
a) While there is some benefit in being able to stay on course with tasks – watch for this becoming a pattern that lingers.
3) Overworking or Excessive Busyness – This is an action that dismisses the processing of emotions by ignoring them and taking on extra projects to avoid processing emotions.
a) The myth “stay busy” is at play here. While getting back to a routine and feeling productive is very helpful, you might consider pacing yourself with projects.
If you notice that you are in overdrive as an attempt to just not deal with challenging emotions, your health will suffer.
4) Lack of Engagement or Passion – You may feel disconnected, unmotivated, or uninterested in career growth.
This may show up as skipping networking events, team lunches, or you may feel isolated and alone in meetings.
Many grievers report that nothing seems to matter and if you are finding that in the scale of having lost your loved one nothing can feel as important anymore – this is a signal that you need to spend some effort moving with these emotions and finding ways to express all that you are experiencing.
5) Frequent References to the Past – You repeatedly mention past successes, relationships, or losses in a way that suggests you feel stuck. Others may point this out to you which may flare some anger.
a) Staying rooted in the past may be a signal that you have some unfinished goodbyes and attachment to pain that has not been processed.
6) Unexplained Physical Complaints – Frequent headaches, fatigue, or stress-related illnesses with no clear medical cause.
a) Hormonal changes occur because of the effect of depleting emotions.
b) Changes in Sleep or Energy Levels – You may struggle with exhaustion, take frequent sick days, or complain about poor sleep.
c) Increased anxiety can be caused by emotional overwhelm and the fear that may be caused by thoughts of future loss.
