The holidays can magnify the absence of familiar faces or routines if you have lost a loved one.
It’s a time that can be exhausting but one also that you can create anew with a mix of past traditions and remembrances to bring the spirit of your loved one into the presence of celebration and creation into the new year.
You may need to create some boundaries and plan more self-care time so that you are giving yourself the opportunity to be with emotions that arise and share sadness and also joy with others.
1. Give yourself grace.
We have been conditioned to believe that we have to feel a certain way during the holidays. Take that pressure off – feel what you feel and plan to have less pressure with schedules, hosting activities, and showing up for things.
2. Incorporate Acts of Giving
Engage in charitable activities like volunteering at a shelter, donating to a cause meaningful to your loved one, or creating “kindness advents” where acts of generosity are done daily during the season.
In the year after my Mom died we all felt pretty lackluster about buying presents and all the traditional gift giving. So, for that year we all decided we would choose a cause or charity to give to and remember our Mom who was always giving so much to others in volunteer work and in her community.
3. Find ways to include opportunities for your family to remember:
a) Create a special place to display photos, favorite items, or holiday decorations they loved.
b) Honor something from their faith and integrate it into your celebration (if this is not already a part of your shared faith)
c) Dedicate time during a meal or other gathering to have family and friends share memories aloud.
If you are struggling with the myriad of emotions that grief brings and wish to learn more about the Grief Recovery Method, a way to work with and process these emotions, please reach out to me for a conversation: info@energym.org.
If you are supporting a grieving person during the holidays you may want to gift them a book of inspiration and hope. You can learn more here.
