Supporting people weeks and months after a natural disaster—when the initial outpouring of help has faded—is crucial. Here are 9 meaningful ways to provide support, including what to say and what not to say.
1. Continue Checking In
Say: “I’ve been thinking about you. How are things going for you right now?”
- Many people feel forgotten as time passes. A simple check-in can remind them they are still supported.
Don’t Say: “Are you feeling a new normal now?”
- Avoid assumptions about their recovery experience timeline and be careful not to dismiss their feelings in how life is unfolding in the recovery and rebuilding process.
2. Acknowledge Their Ongoing Loss
Say: “I can’t imagine how hard this must still be. I’m here to listen if you want to share.”
- Validate their experience without minimizing their emotions.
Don’t Say: “At least you’re safe. That’s all that matters.”
- While safety is important, it doesn’t erase the grief of losing a home, community, or way of life.
3. Offer Practical Help
Say: “I’m available to help with [specific task]. Would that be useful?”
- People often feel overwhelmed by rebuilding efforts. Offer something tangible, like childcare, meals, transportation, or paperwork assistance.
Don’t Say: “Let me know if you need anything.”
- While well-intended, this puts the burden on them to ask, which they may not feel comfortable doing.
4. Be Patient with Their Process
Say: “Take the time you need. There’s no right or wrong way to go through this.”
- Encourage them to grieve and move in their own way.
Don’t Say: “You need to move on.”
- Healing isn’t about “moving on” but rather learning to integrate the changes and new things in the rebuilding process into their life.
5. Help with Resources and Advocacy
Say: “I found this resource that might be helpful—would you like me to share it?”
- Offer assistance in navigating FEMA claims, insurance, housing, or mental health support.
Don’t Say: “I’m sure the government/insurance will take care of it.”
- Many survivors struggle with bureaucracy and may need extra guidance.
6. Offer Emotional Support Without Fixing
Say: “I’m here for you. I don’t have the answers, but I care and I’m listening.”
- Presence is often more powerful than advice.
Don’t Say: “Everything happens for a reason.”
- This can feel dismissive and minimize their pain.
7. Recognize Trauma and Fatigue
Say: “I know the stress must be exhausting. Are you getting the support you need?”
- Long-term stress takes a toll. Encourage rest and self-care. Invite them into a self-care activity that you are participating in or share the app etc.
Don’t Say: “Other people have it worse.”
- Comparing suffering does not help. Everyone’s loss is valid.
8. Include Them in Community Events
Say: “Would you like to join us for [event]?”
- Rebuilding community ties is important, but without pressure.
Don’t Say: “I didn’t invite you because I thought you’d be too busy dealing with everything.”
- Let them decide what they’re up for.
9. Support Their Long-Term Recovery
Say: “I know this is a long road. I’ll still be here months from now, too.”
- Many people disappear after the first few weeks. Long-term support is vital.
Don’t Say: “It’s been months—are things better yet?”
- Healing is not a linear timeline.
Final Thought:
The best way to support someone is through consistency, patience, and presence. Let them know they are not alone—even when the rest of the community and world has moved on.
