Transforming loss into growth is a deeply personal journey that allows a griever to reshape life in ways that honor both the loss and an ongoing potential for growth.
This transformation doesn’t erase the pain of loss; rather, it integrates it, allowing you to draw strength and wisdom from the experiences.
Whether you are experiencing a tangible (loss of loved one) or intangible (loss of safety, job loss) here are 3 things that can help as you move through loss and see the potential for growth.
A. Acknowledge Emotions Instead of Suppressing Them
Growth begins when you normalize grief for yourself. It is not a pathology – give yourself permission to feel the full range of emotions, rather than following common advice to “stay strong” or “move on.”
By embracing emotions without judgment, you open pathways for authentic healing and self-understanding. This practice fosters resilience, as you learn to face difficulties rather than avoiding them.
Even short breaks throughout the day can be valuable for acknowledging emotions. Take brief pauses—like a mindful minute after meetings or during commutes—to check in with your feelings.
This small practice helps prevent emotional suppression, making it more manageable to process grief without disrupting a packed schedule.
B. Discover Inner Strengths
Loss compels you to confront challenges and emotions in a way like no other experiences in life. If you are paying heed to the first recommendation, to acknowledge emotions, then you will be moving through and processing very difficult emotions and gaining something along the way.
By engaging in self-reflection—whether through journaling, meditation, or taking the action steps of the Grief Recovery Method, you may discover and reveal untapped inner strength. By reflecting on these strengths, you can often find ways to apply them to other areas of your life.
This alignment can be a source of strength, that respects both the past and the future, what has been lost and what is growing anew in your life.
C. Watch for What is Opening Up in Your Life
A client once shared with me that the hardest thing after the death of his wife was feeling like he had love to give and nowhere for it to go. Many report a feeling of a hole in their life.
Grief and loss can be isolating and reaching out to support others in some way can help you feel more connected. It can also fill a need to express this part of you who feels like your energy, time, and love have nowhere to go, maybe even feeling without purpose.
Pay attention to what new interest you might find in helping others. This might be volunteer work, mentoring others in your career/job, or finding a new hobby to learn and grow.
After my brother died of Leukemia I was very involved with the Team in Training program which combined my love of running with fundraising for research. I met lots of new people who are lifelong friends, found a sense of purpose, and connected to others who had also suffered a loss.
This shift from isolation to connection can help you feel part of something larger, bringing purpose and meaning to your life.
If you or others in your life need to find more hope in your journey you can learn much more in my book “Growing Through Grief, The Alchemy of Healing From Loss.”
